"When I was your age", he continued, "my buddies and I went to Paris; we went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, we didn't pay for our drinks all night and when the bartender complained we pissed on him” The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the Moulin Rouge with his friends. He comes back three days later with a broken arm and covered in bruises. The grandfather asks "What the hell happened to you?" The grandson says "I did just like you did. I went to the Moulin Rouge with my friends; I tried to fuck a dancer on stage and piss on the bartender - but they beat the shit out of me and stole all the cash in my wallet!" The grandfather asks "Well who the hell did you go with boy?" The grandson says "My friends from school, who did you go with?" The grandfather says "Well... the 2nd SS Panzer Division"
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For example, when you shove them down the stairs.
If you missed the showing in Seattle, don't worry, you can still catch it in Atlanta, Minneapolis, NY, Portland, and More TBD.
It was then that dave found out that his wife who had Alzheimer's had progressed so badly that she forgot her husband
"Me-Don't Worry, It'll End Soon." "Me-Ok, Ok, That's The Last One fr." Next Week- Everyone, Crying, In The Graveyard.
Go stand in front of a mirror
An adoption agency
On an unrelated note, Charlie Daniels wasn’t that good at the violin.
An earthquake.
A couple named Lola and Arnie go to fertility clinic for help conceiving. doctor takes Lola's height and weight and says you're 6 ft 1, 295 lb. You're big enough to play with Green Bay's Packers. Lola says I'd never do that! I don't play with anybody's packer but Arnie's!
baby shoes, never worn
A baby with a spear through its head.
Never fired, dropped only once.
It was Made In China.
Raising Canes
9 months.
Nobody cries when they chop up a hooker.
They actually became a firework.
Upon her arrival she immediately met with God. "Teresa, my child", God started. "You have done countless wonderful things for the world in your lifetime. Please accept this halo." With that, a golden halo appeared above Mother Teresa's head. Some time later, Mother Teresa saw Princess Diana, with a bigger halo over her head. Upset, she asked to meet with God, who agreed. "God, I saw Princess Diana today," said Mother Teresa. "I noticed that her halo was bigger than mine. I know that envy is a sin and I don't mean to question you, but why?" God said "You don't understand. That's not a halo. That's the steering wheel."
Inspector johnson
She cooks
Because your dick keeps getting in the way.
Dawson: Both. I rolled in the hay with my meemaw. Fortunately she was still young enough to give birth to you.
I need something really fucking mean for my family. I don’t care what it is but I need suggestions
..... I call them niggers. After all, they are actually black, unlike Africans who are technically brown. Gnat lives don’t matter. I’m prejudiced against mosquitoes.
If you were forced to have it when you were young, chances are that you probably won’t like it when your older.
the death of a gorilla causing nationwide backlash
But you've probably heard it, like, 6 million times already
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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